| The
traditional Calitrian marriage was a combination of Christian
and pagan rituals: the religious ceremony was Christian; the
pagan elements were the propitiatory dances around the bridal
bed, the escorting of the bride to her new home with torches
and firebrands, the singing, the jokes, the pranks, etc. |
| It
was an important event from the economic and social standpoint:
the families of the bride and groom had as primary concern
the socio-economic status of their son/daughter, which they
wanted to improve or at least not make worse. |
As
a consequence, some marriages (and previous engagements  )
were arranged by the families. |
|
An elderly lady, serving as intermediary, would go to the
bride’s family (generally the mother) to deliver the
marriage proposal ('mbasciata). |
| The
go-between would extol the young man’s qualities and
his assets, which were, however, subject to subsequent evaluation;
then the proposal was taken under advisement by the bride’s
family. |
| The
go-between would return after a few days for the girl’s
mother’s answer. If it was affirmative, on the following
Sunday the suitor, along with his parents, would go to the
girl’s home. If the response was negative, depending
on its wording, it could provoke resentment, brawls or even
illegal behavior. |
| When
the response was favorable, the fiancé could keep company
with his bride-to-be at a set time on Saturday and Sunday
(some families allowed visits on Thursday also), but always
under the direct surveillance of the bride's family. |
| On
the other hand, the young woman was not allowed to visit her
bridegroom or to walk down the street where he lived. |
| Their
engagement usually lasted just a few months, and from the
very beginning the date for the wedding was set for sometime
in September, since farm work was temporarily at a standstill
then, or else during winter, when the new crops had been gathered
in or the family’s pig had been slaughtered. |
| The
next step was the “parley,” (parlata)
a
kind of verbal contract, arranged by the bride’s family
and attended by all the relatives. |
